Monday Morning Hangover

Michael Bush - Getty Images

I hate you, Michael Bush. And you look stupid scoring TDs.

I don’t know what it is, but whenever any of my teams face a crushing defeat, I wake up the next morning with a headache. But wait, how can this be when the Ravens convincingly beat the reigning World Champion Saints yesterday? Well, I’m talking about my other team – the one that doesn’t really exist… Yup, I’m crossing over into forbidden territory and talking about my personal fantasy team. I understand that nobody really cares about my team except for me, but I figured it’d be nice to get this off my chest as a form of rehabilitation. Come on, after 4-5 months of hard work to lose by 1.4 points in the semi’s is too much for a man to handle alone. If you’re at all interested, you can find my pain and sorrow after the jump… 

So, to make this a little easier, let me show you my utterly beautiful roster in a 12 man league (* indicate week 15 starters):

I have 3 first rounders on my roster in Rodgers, Jones-Drew, and Johnson. I have another future first rounder (in 2011) with McFadden. My WRs are superior and Jacob Tamme is a top-3 TE in any given week. Bryant is the 3rd highest scoring kicker and PIT is the #1 DST. So how could I lose? I was so confident I was running away with the title…

Until a couple of MICHAELs came along. The first Michael is the only player you really need to know on my opponent’s roster: Vick. Somehow, miraculously, Michael Vick scored 4 TDs in the last 8 minutes of the 4th quarter, before which he had 4-5 fantasy points total, to utterly crush my fantasy dreams. It also might be worth noting that my opponent started Austin Collie (by mistake) and garnered 20 points before he went down with another concussion.

Now, who’s the other Michael? We’ll get there eventually, but first, let’s take a deeper look at my roster’s shortcomings.

Of course when you think of shortcomings, you immediately think of the Steelers, so this is where we’ll start. It’s been a little bittersweet owning the Steelers’ DST, but don’t worry, I never started them against Baltimore. And yes, it’s nice that the Steelers lost, but couldn’t the defense have scored more than 2 fantasy points before losing? I guess losing Troy Polamalu really has its effects. For the sake of the AFC North title, I hope Polamalu stays out for a little longer…

At QB, losing Aaron Rodgers at this point in the fantasy season was crippling. My 2010 philosophy was that if Rodgers went down, my fantasy season would be over, and that was the case in week 15. Kitna did a great job against the weak WAS secondary, but in the end, I needed Rodgers to be where Matt Flynn was on Sunday night, torching NE for touchdowns and (possibly) the win. How sweet that would have been… a NE loss and a fantasy victory.

My WR-corps was definitely the strength of my line-up. Vincent Jackson destroyed the 49ers, Kenny Britt put up great yardage against HOU, and Andre Johnson produced rather mediocre yardage, although he reeled in a TD. I can’t be disappointed with my WR picks and their production. If Sidney Rice goes off for 25+ fantasy points tonight, I won’t be too upset because I would have never seen that coming. Did people really think about starting Rice?

Now we get to some real issues: my RBs. I have no idea why the Jaguars didn’t give the ball more to MJD. Of course the Colts were going to play the run throughout the game, but to only give him ~15 carries against one of the worst rush defenses in the league is befuddling. I just don’t understand it. I mean, look at what Ray Rice did with 30+ touches! I’m sure Pocket Hercules could’ve produced at least near the same level. If they had given him the ball more, they might have been able to actually win and take home the AFC South title!

And Darren McFadden. It’s not that I have a problem with him, necessarily. He was great out there. Even with a fumble, he managed to bring in an outstanding yardage total, but you know what the problem is? The other Michael: Michael Bush. How can you vulture McFadden’s TDs like that? Having those 2 TDs would’ve made all the difference in my match-up, but I’m sure Tom Cable’s opponent, who obviously owns McFadden as well, is saying exactly the same thing. I know you have ulterior motives, Cable!

It’s a sad sad day in the fantasy world (at least in mine), but I guess I have to keep my chin up and play for 3rd. In another league, I’m heading to the championships, so we’ll see if I can at least grab 1 title in 2010.

Until the 2011 fantasy season begins (and possibly further), I will deeply hate all Michaels. Michael Vick and Michael Bush combined to successfully bring down my all-star fantasy roster, and what’s even worse is that every Michael’s Arts & Craft store will only rub it in. Here’s to a bitter off-season.

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